There is no one-size-fits-all formula for how a woman gets an orgasm or goes to heaven sexually. Rather, for a woman, it is about feeling safe, seen, loved and feeling love from the heart. A woman must first of all meet in the heart before she can open her legs to surrender and to pleasure and ecstasy.
It is a mistake to think that a man can just use his hands in a special way or stimulate the woman's g-spot and then she will have a vaginal orgasm, g-spot orgasm or squirt orgasm. But it's not that easy.
Actually, I see the g-zone as a goddess point, which is opened by adoring the woman.
Dear woman, if you have been subjected to transgressive actions, an assault, transgressive gynecological examinations and procedures, or repeatedly had sex, even though your body actually said no, then your body will most likely feel insecure. So it is clear that you may feel sexually inadequate, strange, closed off and anxious during sex.
To be able to relax and get back to the magic of your body, it's about finding security again and being with a partner who makes you feel safe and with whom you have a heart connection.
In society today, many girls and women learn that we can get love and attention through sex. But the sexual act is not what primarily gives pleasure. Because it is the connection to yourself and another human being that will ultimately open you up to ecstatic levels of pleasure and orgasm.
Just because you're having penetration sex or having oral sex or fingering doesn't mean your pussy will open up.
You can actually get even more enjoyment out of the sexual act altogether and instead focus on the connection, love and intimacy you have with your partner.
If you don't feel safe, loved or met by your partner, then he or she is probably not the right match for you.
Many girls and women, incl. myself, have learned that it is normal to have sex on the first date and have one night stands. Precisely because we feel that we get confirmation and attention from the guys through sex. But what I do know now is that a woman's pussy is so sacred and so precious that not just anyone should be allowed to enter this sacred temple.
We have to think that there was a time when birth control was not available and in that way a woman had to take much better care of herself because there was a possibility of getting pregnant. In this way, sex constituted another kind of vulnerability.
Although today you can take birth control pills and have sex as often as you want without getting pregnant, the body still has a vulnerability, and your pussy does not want to be fertilized by just anyone. So if you don't feel safe or attracted or have love for the man you're with, your pussy won't want to be fertilized by him, and that can create physical tension if you're with him anyway. In this way, your pussy and your body can close together more and more.
That's why I believe it's so important that we as girls and women still take care of our pussy and think about who we have sex with. That doesn't mean you can't be intimate with the guys you're not immediately head over heels in love with. But I believe kissing and hugging without sex is the best way to start because that way you can go then slowly forward so that you can have your body, your mind and your heart with you, and it will make you much better able to listen inward and feel whether your body, your heart and your pussy want it or not.
If your body, your heart and your pussy want it, you will practically beg and ask to be filled and penetrated. If your pussy says yes, you will be so turned on and feel so open and vulnerable and wet and inviting and ecstatic.
But if you don't experience this, then your pussy is most likely not ready at all and wants more love, more security and more confirmation and attention.
Some of the best sex I've ever had in my life has been with someone I loved very very much. Where I almost cried with joy during sex because I felt so much love for him. When love is involved and you feel that he is there for you, that is when you as a woman can really surrender and melt into the pleasure.
We must remember that although in today's society we see many strong independent women, biologically speaking we are still feminine, soft and vulnerable and need the protection and support that a man can provide.
We essentially still have our primal nature within us – a fertile woman can conceive, bear children, menstruate, go through ups and downs during her cycle and needs intimacy, touch, tenderness and love in her life.
Going slowly and finding a partner with whom you are comfortable and preferably feel a heart connection are the key words for an orgasm.
I'm sending you so much erotic love your way!